Expectations I place on my children are the bare minimum and I groom them to be exceptional leaders, honest, trustworthy and to think outside the box but what I expect of them is the bare minimum.  This is the way I was brought up and have found the corporate world to be like minded.  By expecting only the bare minimum I am making it extremely easy to be let down and setting my children up for failure.  I look back at grade school.  What did my teachers expect?  What did the system expect?  I didn't need acclaim, trophies, awards or approval.  I only needed to stave off the pain of failure.  By doing the bare minimum I met their expectations.  By design, I became an expert at bare minimum.

     It was on my first Daddy Daughter date with Elizabeth, now 7, that I realized the need to teach my children to recognize expectations.  the new bare minimum for my children is to recognize and exceed the expectations others place on them.

• Plan/Do/Review  

At any given moment everything I know is all I've prepared to know.  To date I have written, figuratively, four books about my life.  

1. Arena - Public Aspect of my life.  Anyone and everyone has access to this book.
2. Mask - Secrets and private aspects of my life.  Very few have access to this book.  I'm not safe if on one knows the contents of this book.
3. Blind Spot - I don't know but you know.  This perspective is an important part of my growth.  
4. Potential - I don't know and you don't know.

• Plan/Do/Review

A funny thing happened on the way to the hospital.  Actually it was the night before.  The birth of our 4th child, Jacob Phillip was to take place in less than 12 hours and I was going through the motions, preparations and fatherly duties of a father of 3 girls and husband of one very pregnant wife.  One week prior to this I had been working at my sales job and merrily singing God's praises at the progression of the new flooring scheduled for the house.  Plans had been made to take off of work midway through the following week for Jacob's arrival and the "outlaws" would be here that Tuesday to spend time with us and enjoy their grandkids (I affectionately refer to my in-laws as outlaws).  

It was Saturday, the weekend prior to Jacob's arrival.  I had procrastinated!  The tile in the Kitchen was not out as scheduled, the flooring had not come in as anticipated and my very pregnant wife was feeling the pressure.  So what did I do?  I went fishing.  I justified the impromptu expedition by telling myself I was providing food for my family but the 800 pounds of fresh fish I had envisioned catching would not have choked the smoldering volcano about to erupt.  I arrived home from my fishless junket as a warrior sauntering calmly, weaponless and without trepidation into enemy headquarters.  Half an hour later I was headed to the home improvement center with 3 kids in tow committed to a sleepless 24 hour epic make or break wood flooring palooza.

The replacement laminated wood flooring was purchased, the tile was out and It was the Sunday morning prior to Jacob's arrival.  I was waiting on Vicenta, the guy responsible for kicking this flooring excursion into the driveway so to speak.  Well, Vicenta showed up ready to lay the "linoleum" tile?  What I had was laminated wood flooring.  "No Jason" Vincenta said as plain as day in his spanish accent.  "this wood! Only know how to do linoleum."  All I could think of was the end of my existence at the hands of "the Expectant One."  Salvation!  Vicenta had a friend.  Jose!  While my life was flashing before my eyes Vicenta had called his friend Jose, who was now on the phone perched in Vicenta's hand and was presented to me as a golden key used to open the door to a room full of treasure at the end of an epic dragon slaying journey.

It was Monday, two days prior to Jacob's arrival.  Jose showed up as scheduled to lay the "laminated wood flooring" and I was on my way to purchase a new refrigerator.  The night before, while I was preparing for Jose to install the wood floor, I pierced the cooling unit in our beloved refrigerator.  In that instance I remembered the reason for the purple bracelet on my left wrist and did not complain.  I was confident that this opportunity would prove to work out perfectly.  My now placid wife was already reaching out to friends in search of a solution to our dilemma.  Though it was 9:30 on Sunday evening we were able to get ahold of an appliance repairman.  The cost to fix our refrigerator, if fixable, would take all of our savings and take at least a week to complete.  "Not to worry" I said. "The perfect replacement refrigerator is waiting for us at the dent and ding used appliance store". I showed up that morning and the perfect refrigerator was there waiting on me. After making the purchase I scheduled the delivery for later that afternoon.

It was Tuesday, one day before Jacob's arrival.  The flooring was in and looked great, the perfect refrigerator was in and was producing expected results, the outlaws had arrived and I had finished a fast paced day at work. That evening as I was tucking our girls into bed I began to prepare them for the next morning and our visit to greet Jacob.  I explained how Jacob and daddy would be in the nursery at the hospital and that Mommy and Daddy would be leaving early tomorrow morning before everyone was awake.  I was just getting to the part where Nana and Papaw would be taking them to the hospital to meet up with us and see their new baby brother when my wife said "Tomorrow?!?!?, Honey, the c-section isn't scheduled until Thursday, the day after tomorrow."  Everything had come together and I was ready for this new chapter in our lives to begin.  It was in the turmoil of the previous week's events that I had mentally changed the day of the c-section to Wednesday, one day early!  At first I was angry and looked to place blame but I knew I was to blame.  Then I was ashamed at having made such a seemingly horrible mistake but realized "I'm human and expecting".  Embarrassment was my next emotional foray followed by laughter.  What a story!  In addition to having such a great story to tell I have inadvertently created margin in my schedule to prepare for our new arrival.  Now to start a list of all the people who have the wrong date.

I am learning how to take ownership of my actions, thoughts and words.  I can learn anything I need to learn to become anyone I want to become and to achieve any goal I can set for myself. I truly believe this.  I am to blame for where I am in my life...no one else is to blame.