Just about every time my Dad and I talk at length he says "Away from pain, towards reward."  Seems as though I am constantly trying to ease the pain of bad memories, financial consequences or physical discomfort.  I've recently come to understand the longer the pain lasts the more urgent the need to change.  In his book NLP the new technology of achievement, Charles Faulkner says "Pain is a sign that it's time to change.....we're using a poor approach."  So instead of seeking out pain as I am accustomed to, I need to first, recognize pain sooner and second change my approach.  Maybe I need to make more plans that involve success rather than suffering.  Easier said than done but now I know.

•Plan/Do/Review

In the Book The Little Prince, Antoine De Saint-Exupery says "Anything Essential is invisible to the eyes."  My daughter was in tears the other night.  I asked her what was wrong and she told me how she perceived being ridiculed by other children for not knowing the meaning of a word.  My heart hurt for her.  At the same time I explained to her that what she is not seeing is the love and acceptance the other children are seeking.  I explained how everyone wants to feel important and we all look for that importance in different ways.  It's essential she understands this or she risks a life of tears.

• Plan/Do/Review

Hope, a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen, is addictive.  Some of the things in life that give me hope are thoughts of: higher education, winning the lottery, success and wealth.  The tragedy for me has been living off of the feelings I get by hoping for certain things to happen.  My hope now rests in taking action.  Hope + inaction = addiction.


• Plan/Do/Review

I just finished reading True North.  In his book Bill George describes 4 styles of interdependent leadership.

1. Engaged Leadership - Persuading the Empowered
2. Coaching Leadership - Counseling the Receptive
3. Consensus Leadership - Gaining Agreement with those seeking Equality
4. Affiliative Leadership - Empathizing with those who are Team Oriented

My mentor explained to me that as I mature as a leader I will want to create interdependent relationships and graduate from, first being a leader of dependent relationships to, second being a leader of independent relationships and last of all being a leader of interdependent relationships.

Creating partnerships (interdependent relationships) is now my goal.  Now I know!

• Plan/Do/Review

One of the biggest challenges I have had to face in my life is denial.  Over the past two years I have learned how important self-awareness is and learning how others see me hasn't always been easy.  I've found that the only way to overcome denial and to be more self-aware is to face criticism head on without making excuses.  Changing who I am on purpose is one of the most difficult things I've ever faced.  Painful to say the least but the rewards are great!

• Plan/Do/Review