Just about every time my Dad and I talk at length he says "Away from pain, towards reward." Seems as though I am constantly trying to ease the pain of bad memories, financial consequences or physical discomfort. I've recently come to understand the longer the pain lasts the more urgent the need to change. In his book NLP the new technology of achievement, Charles Faulkner says "Pain is a sign that it's time to change.....we're using a poor approach." So instead of seeking out pain as I am accustomed to, I need to first, recognize pain sooner and second change my approach. Maybe I need to make more plans that involve success rather than suffering. Easier said than done but now I know.
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Hope, a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen, is addictive. Some of the things in life that give me hope are thoughts of: higher education, winning the lottery, success and wealth. The tragedy for me has been living off of the feelings I get by hoping for certain things to happen. My hope now rests in taking action. Hope + inaction = addiction.
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One of the biggest challenges I have had to face in my life is denial. Over the past two years I have learned how important self-awareness is and learning how others see me hasn't always been easy. I've found that the only way to overcome denial and to be more self-aware is to face criticism head on without making excuses. Changing who I am on purpose is one of the most difficult things I've ever faced. Painful to say the least but the rewards are great!
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There have been times when I have stood idly by while a moral or ethical injustice was occurring and I was too gripped by fear to take action. Why didn't I take action? If not me then who? If not now then when? Some very good questions. Yes! Some very good questions indeed!
My new call to action:
If not me then who? If not now then when?
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A really good friend once told me "Jason, nobody cares about you." This is true. At times I am so caught up with what others think about me I become paralyzed with fear and fail to take action. It's time to think for myself and not worry so much about what other people think about what I say, how I dress, what I have...etc.
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I read recently that by changing the interior and emblem on a specific model of car the manufacturer will ask $20,000 to $30,000 more on the showroom floor. By exercising more, eating healthier food and educating myself I am essentially making myself more valuable in the marketplace. Now I know!
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I can accept responsibility or I can place blame but I can't do both is a phrase I've heard many times over the years. A new way for me to take more responsibility is to find 3 people who know and love me. I will ask each one "what major area of my life do I need to work on." I will not argue and I will not place blame. I will simply accept responsibility.
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I've found that dreaming leads to not doing. All too often I catch myself dreaming big dreams. Dreams that require energy and time leading to inaction and apathy. it's better that I set goals and take action. That way I can eventually live my dreams.
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Comparing myself to others sucks! It creates resentment and arrogance. I compare myself to others often in the way I dress, how I comb my hair, how much I weigh......etc. If I am to be more interdependent I must compare myself to others less wich will create trust and respect.
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